A man with an open expression and lips set in grim acceptance stood wide eyed at the court room stand. "you may make your plea, Guvnor." The judge spoke in a monotonous voice. Guvnor smiled feebly and inclined his head, the judge fought the temptation to roll her eyes. He leaned forward and tapped his mike experimentally, as if he had never set foot in a court room before. Judge Earphings had seen Charles Guvnor tap-his-mike-experimentally-as-if-he'd-never-set-foot-in-a-court-room-before 4 times in the past 10 years.
He stuttered out his opening line. "What brought me here...it sounds crazy, and with my... history I cant expect any of you good citizens to believe what I am about to say." he paused and seemed to blink away tears. "I cant even ask you to." The Judge maintained her neutral expression, but scoffed inwardly. It had been cute when a 12 year old Chuck Guvnor had duped his way into the jury's hearts, and understandable at ages 14, 16, and 17, but with a 22 year old Charles standing before her, Earphings wondered how good of an idea it was that she should be in possession of a mallet around the kid.
"...I deserve to be locked away, the key destroyed and no pity for it. I understand that now. Then I thought, maybe if I had the money, I could save her..." his voice became a whisper and he trailed off. One Jury member, a woman dressed entirely in GAP jumped around in her seat like an elementary school student desperate to raise her hand.Earphings sighed and asked "Save who, Guvnor?" He sent her a quick smile that was all teeth. "Maria, my friend Maria. She was a grandmother to me, and a mother, I-"
"I have here that you stated she was 26." Charles nodded sagely. The jurors nodded with him.
'oh god, here we go again' Erphings thought. "That week she was 26. She could change her age, you know, and I think it made her feel alive to be young. Nevertheless, she needed money for the operation, invisible tumors being so expensive, so I robbed the insurance company for her. It was wrong. I should have prayed and stayed by her side at every moment but temptation called me and, and I chose not to sit idle." "and that is enough Mr. Guvnor. Thank you."
"Do to the...non existence of 'Maria', which you understand-"
"well-"
"-you claim insanity."
"well n-" she slammed her anvil onto the desk and gave him the most subtle evil eye she could manage. "I release the Jury."

Charles Govner sauntered free that day due to an unanimous vote from the jury, he CONTINUE